So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize