he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
