He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
