he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
