I bet he comes in French.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
