dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
