my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
