I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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