why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
