Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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