Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
