if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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