she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
