I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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