I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I look better un-naked...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
