Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
