The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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