Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
