I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
