New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
