Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
