How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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