we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
