I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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