She is in my trunk
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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