Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
