I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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