FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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