how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
