Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
