i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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