what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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