can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
