I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I touched a dick in church today
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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