Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
