If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
