dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
