I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
