i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
