I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize