Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We got so high we made milksteak
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
