i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
