is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
