her vagine was all disorganized.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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