Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
