Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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