My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
