I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
try to milk me bitch
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