Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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