guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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