make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize