According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
