Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
