I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
