dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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