sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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