Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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