they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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