You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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