my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize