What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
